DETACH (read time (0:31)
I know you want it all to turn out a certain way. Me too. I especially want it to go my way—so I can claim the prize that's waiting at the end. When I was a big cheese CEO, I claimed a lot of prizes, but they were at the expense of a hidden agenda called "I'm right!" What a bunch of BS! All being right & rigid did was eliminate a billion other options! Took me lifetimes of “inner” work to finally discover that once you get stuck in, “it must turn out my way,” you’ve just eliminated every other way it could possibly turn out! Some think that imposing a righteous, ironclad position creates a sense of strength and power, however that’s an o’l worn out, fossilized strategy. All that does is create a sense of fear in others, and lures you into a trap with few choices. Remaining detached from the outcome and open to ALL options automatically enters you into a lottery of unlimited possibilities. Not like a game of chance, more like a way of being.
Love to read your thoughts...
|Posted By Sophie M.|
| music and tension |
This is a very interesting advice! I find that it is helpful to let go of these ultimatums we've created for ourselves, especially when I'm trying to accomplish something productive or creative. When one is trying to produce music, for example (vocal or instrumental, mentally limiting ultimatums can be the source of physical tension. Our inability to let go always manifests itself in our bodies and our capacities to be productive!
|Posted By Kingvegas|
| Detach? |
I'm wondering if detaching a bit from the *process* as opposed to the outcome would make more sense? "We need to build a bridge to cross the river" concrete, immutable. How we build the bridge- many options available. Flexible as far as means and method. I think we need concrete goals in order to succeed but have to be open as to how to get there.The inevitable roadblock along the way may require us to be open to a little unexpected turn but the destination needs to remain clear.
|Posted By wichampi|
| get by with a little help from...... |
I have always wished that we had a course from primary school upwards called Peace where as young children we would learn among other things how to be good listeners and how to resolve issues in groups by consensus.We are often so sure of ourselves that we miss out on other people's ideas and points of view. Flexibility and patience ....we ain't born with them qualities,man...!
|Posted By karlen evins|
| Detach |
Thought provoking as always, Michael, and I too, agree. But I'm curious how well this would fly in a CEO interview today (not that you'd want to go back, I'm just sayin' ...) My question is: Is "corporate" by its very definition, immune to this concept or might we be seeing a new "self-actualizing" entity evolving?. Alvin Toffler spoke to this 30 years ago in his book, The Third Wave. (Amazing visionary, that man. I recommend it highly). As one who likewise left corporate America to go within, while reflecting on her work experience, I found I could never make it happen within a corporate structure, but only in work of my own creation, where today, my CEO is that still, small voice.
|Posted By CN Byrd|
| being detached |
I have long thought that going with the flow was a more successful approach than not. I recently took an entrepreneur evaluation test and totally failed because I was deemed not aggressive enough to take risks. I appreciate the support of my position that being considerate has a place in success as well.
|Posted By Michael D'Agostino|
| So True |
Yes I'm going through a real purging in my life and these words ring so true. What a concept to be free of expectation and see what is, instead of some made up projection. It's like waking up, and deepening daily awareness. Thanks!
I fully agree. And it is also something that needs constant work, even if one is not a control freak!!
|Posted By Jon Maier|
| Detachment |
Hi Michael, I really enjoyed your article on detachment. After reading this, I felt that you touched a facet of life that has affected me for years. Not only did I feel that I needed to be right, but would then set myself to prove that I was right. In my blindness, the only thing that I proved, was my lack to see other ideas that could have proven to be a better solution. Now that I am aware of this, I will strive to be open to other and potentially better ideas. Your article provided great insight. Thank you! Jon Maier
|Posted By Julie|
| Detach |
This reminds of me of a Werner Erhard quote that I have been saying to myself for years. "It's much easier to ride the horse in the direction he's going." and this quote helped me shift to being a working musician. . I, on so many occasions tried to steer the horse to 'My Way". I finally let go of the reins and said "Okay, take me where you want me to go".
|Posted By Rachel|
| So many different snowflakes.... |
Hi Michael. This is a thoughtful post..For MYSELF, I don't think I have all the answers at all..in fact, so much to discouver. I'm sure others have much better ideas than mine on how to achieve my goals. Rigid, self-righteousness is like death to anything...spirit, well now, that's full of life..All I can do as an artist is my best efforts, to share, to create, to love, if someone has better ideas..I'm all ears, and willing to learn. :-) Rachel.
|Posted By Ken Budka|
| That's one way to put it... |
and I like your perspective. Most often, I move away from people who have rigid views on things, politics and religion would be two great examples. Pretty much anyone who is really extreme in their way of being or their beliefs, are limited in their ability to interact or coexist with people who see things differently. Seems limiting in a big way. I'll take being happy over being right any day. The key is be at peace with yourself and what you believe and simply be amazed by other perspectives and opportunities all around you. Funny what an opportunity magnet you become as a result.
|Posted By Rick|
| Level 5 leader |
Interesting reflection. Jim Collins in "Good to Great" describes the type of leader a company needs to be in order to be great. "Level 5 leaders channel their ego needs away from themselves and into the larger goal of building a great company. It's not that Level 5 leaders have no ego, or self-interest. Indeed, they are incedibily ambitious--but their ambition is first and foremost for the institution, not themselves."
|Posted By John Winn|
| take a look around |
Sir, you are on a roll. It is very righteous to take a look out side of the confining cranium the rests on our necks. Thanks for another great wake up call
|Posted By Mike Pinera|
| They say... |
Michael,they say sometimes that if you can define it, you can also confine it. I once asked a very wise little old man in Miami Beach if the many new opportunities that are now coming in for my concert tours might be the fruit of my composing music ten hours a day. Because I had not been making any efforts whatsoever into booking live shows lately. Just writing and recording. He answered, "well sometimes you polish over here, but it shines over there." People ask me what is the difference in my playing guitar now that I've been doing it for 40 years. I tell them that I used to play the guitar now it plays me! For me the art of the heart is allowing the energy to flow from my heart directly to my fingers. No mind.
|Posted By Steven Neal Wagner|
| Being open |
I am not sure we would know Tom Petty as the Tom Petty we know if he'd take this advice. There is a time to be open to possibilities other than the one you're holding onto so tightly but there is also one's vision and integrity. So, I am not sure that detaching is always the answer (but I am sure you are not demanding that I absolutely see it your way, either).
|Posted By DJ-RJ|
| You Nailed It |
Love this article J. So true, when you're not attached to the outcome, that's when the miracles come. My coach always says, "do you wanna be right, or do ya wanna be rich?" Easy choice to make, when you like at it from that perspective. Thanks for all you share in your list!
|Posted By Sweet Lorraine|
| detach |
The seed of the solution is in the problem. By not getting what we want, we get what we need. Thanks for sharing your insight.
|Posted By Denise L. Cook, The ORACLE|
| Nice read..... |
|Posted By Carole|
| Thank You |
Juat the message I need to hear:) Bless You
|Posted By Theo|
| The highway |
SO hard not to be “right” all the time. I’ve had to work and rework this “way of being” in my own company. I, too, started out, “My way or the highway.” Then one of my employees (whose ideas I had rejected in favor of my own) left and brought his ideas/options to another company, who captured them and began a very favorable campaign and product. It took THAT MUCH to snap me out of my own righteousness. And I’ve had new eyes since, and YES, a new way of being! Right on, J. Michael!
|Posted By Bonnie Lovett|
| Let it go! |
Let go, let go, let GO!!! Yes, that voice in my head has been repeating itself while I “stuck” to my own opinions. After all, I created this organization and I know best, right? Not always it seems. Corny as this sounds, I take this blog as a “sign” that I need to pay attention to that voice!!!