I’m writing to you from inside the belly of a whale. It’s dark in here and very cold. However, there is an occasional bright ray of light that shine’s through the blow hole every time the giant mammal takes a breath. Fortunately, that light shines in just when I need it most.

I can hear friends and family on the outside shouting: “How are you?” “Do you need anything?” “What can we do for you?” and they mean it! However, that puts the responsibility on me to come up with an appropriate answer which I simply do not have. Meanwhile, there are a few enlightened ones who are willing to take on that responsibility, and simply observe and notice what’s wanted and needed, and just provide it. And while I acknowledge the first group for their genuine, heartfelt, loving generosity, I admire the second group for their insightful wisdom to bypass protocol, follow their intuition, and simply act.

I started looking through my past blogs searching for clues to escape this darkness. Turns out there is no escape, there is only turning up the light, which as we all know will immediately eradicate the darkness. The one blog I found helpful is from 2019 When You Forget Who You Are, I hope it reminds you too!

Although this is the darkest time I have ever experienced in my life, intellectually and confidently I know that George was right when he said “All Things Must Pass,” and I have no doubt that I will eventually follow the light and find my way out of this whale-size darkness. However, I’m in no hurry.

Important because my awesome, angel, soulmate wife of 30 blissful years, gently, softly, and peacefully passed away recently, from complications due to a lifetime of type 1 diabetes. And after eleven years of intimately interacting with YOU via this blog, it just feels right to share that with you. Nancy was a 35-year career nurse at UCLA, and she was also an abstract expressionist artist in both painting and collage. If you’re interested, here’s her website. Thanks for listening my dear reader, YOU are a bright shinning light in my life.

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